An Epiphany on Emotions

I get it. After a stressful, emotional week, I get it!

We have been groomed in our society to express our emotions, to embrace and act on them. We are constantly bombarded with images that play on our emotional responses. From commercials for chocolate promising a moment of pleasure to TV shows glorifying outrageous, shocking behavior to keep us invested in their emotional roller coaster dramas. We are a society run by emotions! Not that I'm saying all emotions are bad, just that we shouldn't let our emotions control us! Even love can be expressed in a way that hinders a person, i.e. spoiled children turn into spoiled adults. If we put our emotions first, no matter the situation, I'm not sure how helpful we would be to others.

 

My revelation for the week: Emotion is another word for self
 

Emotion is how we responded to situations. How we feel it affects us.

Google defines emotion as: "a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others" 

Though the Bible doesn't use the word "emotion" (in the translations I've seen) there are countless verses imploring us to control ourselves (James 3) and yield to the Holy Spirit. 

When Christ freed us from sin He broke all of our bonds. We are no longer slaves to thoughts and feelings. In fact, we have been called to rise above them in all situations.(Philippians 4)

This may be nothing profound to anyone else, but it left me speechless to realize that most of our sins stem from emotions; Anger, envy, gluttony = emotions.  mind = blown!

So what does this revelation mean for me? change! . . . I hope ;)


As a wife, I am praying to honor my husband more. . . even when I don't feel like it. . . even when I think he's wrong. . . even when we face consequences to a bad decision he's made. I want to be solid, unshakable, able to be a comfort to him when he needs it, and strong enough to share any burden he's carrying. I can't be a pillar for him if my responses change with my moods. I'm not saying we won't disagree, but I don't want to respond out of my emotions to defeat him when conflict does arise. I want him to feel safe and secure with me.

As a mother, I am praying to not react out of emotion when my kids screw up -And- not to take it out on them when I get overwhelmed and angry. I want to love them selflessly. I want to be able to help them when they need me, not condemn them for doing something wrong. . . we can correct without condemning!

Finally, as a child of God, I am praying to be fully surrendered to the Holy Spirit through Christ. I want to focus on His love for me and others and I want to walk in that love, even when people purposely anger or hurt me. We are told that we wrestle with spirits, not with flesh and blood(people) Ephesians 6:11-13 so why are we so impatient and unwilling to pray for those who buffet us? I have come to the conclusion that only through prayer and studying God's word can we even begin to understand what Christ has done for us. Through the Holy Spirit, He has given us the power to resist acting out through our emotions. To be sober minded and see truth instead of spending our lives justifying our bad behaviors. To see who we really are at the heart level, the good and the bad. When we get THAT revelation, when we see how undeserving we were of His love yet how fervently He pursued us, how He still cleanses us and draws us to Himself, THEN can we start to get over our emotional hang ups and pet peeves to reach out to someone else, just as undeserving, yet just as loved. Because we get it, finally!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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An Introvert's Plea

A couple of months ago, my husband and I left our church. As with any change in life it was a bit difficult and sad. However, I really had a peace about it and felt God was calling us toward something else. So we began visiting different churches as we tried to find God's will for us in this area.

As you may have assumed from the title, my husband and I are both introverts. Since I feel most of us that "suffer" from introvertism  (pretty sure that's a word) are completely misunderstood, I will take a moment here and lay out some of the qualities and handicaps of being an introvert.

Energized by time alone

Private

Keeps to self

Quiet

Deliberate

Internally aware

Fewer friends

Prefer smaller groups

Independent

Not socially inclined

Enjoys solitude

Thinks before speaking

I would add (just my opinion) that introverts may even have heightened senses, almost to the point of not being able to function correctly when surrounded by chaos. It may not seem chaotic to others, but most concerts, shows, sports, and even large family gatherings can be overwhelming. Of course, that could just be me.

I know that I crave peace and quiet. I need time to myself and get irritable if I go too long without it.

Now, I do have some close friends that would snicker at the thought of me being an introvert. But they are MY people and I feel comfortable opening up to them. I'm still not good with hugging though.
- Respect the bubble -

HERE is a list of comparison I found interesting .... Anyone else an INFJ??

Having said these things I have a slight criticism - plea - to the church. Sometimes, the way we go all out to seem all inclusive can come across as overbearing and do exactly the opposite of what I know we're trying to do!

I tried to write about this months ago, but never published it. I went back and read it today and you can just feel the frustration I had! Here's a small excerpt:

As I visit our local churches, I am really disappointed. I have been welcome-wagoned to death! I do appreciate the nice mugs, flashlight key-chains, and cool stickers, but the emails, cards, MULTIPLE phones calls and such are just not for me. Neither is the big fuss and applause appreciated. I'm not trying to be rude, but some churches go way overboard with their "join our club" culture. I don't remember the guys in the book of Acts pasting on clown-worthy smiles and blocking the exit until you fill out their "guest" card. Can I just say, ugh...just ugh!

*I'm almost ashamed to post this. I think I was being too critical, but I just wanted to share the feeling, even if it wasn't expressed in the most admonishing way.*

I'm not asking the church to come around to my liking. I'm just hoping to shed some light on an issue I've seen. Introverts are not likely to be comfortable with you grabbing their hand and asking them tons of questions. We are processors! Analyzers! Please give us time to take it all in. If you are preaching the Gospel, let IT be what makes people feel welcome and loved. And when you do approach someone, even extroverts, be sincere. You'd be amazed how obvious it is when we aren't. Let us ALL walk in love and we will point people to Christ, at church and else where, whether we are introverted or extroverted.

Oh, and if you're wondering, we have found a church and have seen God's hand directing us through this change. I now believe even more that we were obedient to His voice when we decided to leave. My heart is full of thankfulness when I think about our journey in Christ so far. I praise Him for His guidance and provision for us. His love truly IS amazing!

 

My Prayer For Austin

I can't BELIEVE my sweet baby boy will be {GASP!} 13 this month! Where has the time gone?! There's SO much I still want to teach him and show him about life and, well, everything!

I've put together just some of the thoughts I have towards him in hopes of reminding myself encouraging others that are just embarking on their parenting journey or those venturing with me into the teenage years...

Son,

The next 5 years are your most important so far and will set the stage for your adult life and all the responsibilities that will entail. I pray you weigh every decision before you move, even the seemingly small ones. Also, that you understand how incapable we are of knowing our futures and even our own hearts without God revealing them to us.

I pray you find Jesus and lose religion. Man isn't your teacher, the Holy Spirit is.

I pray you have the discernment to see the flaws in those who council you but have the grace to love them in spite of those things.

Realize you could never earn a loves as great as the love God freely gives. That you are already accepted by Him and your works could never make him love you more. But that you give your life to works for that very reason. 

Never be so hurt that you allow yourself to become cynical and bitter. Find joy in the simple things. Cherish the good in life and try not to linger too long on the bad. 

Love selflessly. I pray you see through the brokenness of your own childhood the consequences of selfish love. Cling to your wife and the family God blesses you with.

Have the wisdom to separate yourself from your feelings to assess properly which actions or inaction are best for you and your family...after fervent prayer of course.

 After arguments and disagreements, I pray you always look to God and in yourself to see if any fault is yours. If it is, I pray that you have the humility to admit your errors and ask for forgiveness.

And in conversation, that you think more than you speak (preferably before you open your mouth).

See that it's always easier to DO what's right than LIVE with the consequences of doing what's wrong.

Above all, I hope and pray that I have been a blessing in your life. That I have loved you the way you've needed me to and encouraged you to do the things God has called you to do. AND that you know how very, very much I love you and thank God for you <3

 

Heart of A Child

I have to share this. Before I do though, I gotta tell you what a pain my son can be and that he's rowdy and loud and FAR from perfect, as I am myself. I don't want anyone to think we are better than we are. We are hugely flawed and it's only by God's grace that we can do ANYTHING. My hope here is to show God's faithfulness and love toward ALL who will open their hearts and lives to Him, not to present a false picture of perfection.

This past weekend, Xander's piano teacher held a mini recital at one of the nursing homes we use to sing at in the past with our last church. Now, I don't want it to sound like we went ALL the time. We went when I was off work, which wasn't much. Not as much as I'd like. However, the last time we went (months ago) I was touched by how much the elderly people loved having us (Xander) there. They loved on him and he loved on them. I didn't have to encourage him to speak to anyone or shake their hand, he just did it. lovingly. Even telling them he loved them! I was so moved as I watched him and pray to be more like that myself. {I'm an introvert. We have bubbles.}

I have posted before about my belief, and Xander's claim, that he was created to sing and worship God.

Bless.

He doesn't have any natural talent for it, but he doesn't care. I no longer think those things matter anyway, really. God looks at the HEART. He will use whatever we let him use to bless others and glorify Him. 

He was very excited to play his piano Saturday. Yes, I know, I'm his mom and am blessed by ALMOST everything he does, but I was brought to tears as I watched him play from his heart. He was feeling the music.

Passionate.

Confident.

When the sweet voices of his audience hummed and sang gently along, it was....a blessing. Just a huge, huge blessing. 

We may not think we are talented or equipped to serve others and speak of His love, but having those things are just bonuses. It may make it easier, but people really just want a genuine heart. Someone who will pray with them, encourage them, love them. I spent a long time praying I was better at singing, speaking, NOT being socially awkward, but I see now that those are just vain wishes. Something to make ME feel better about the transparency of truly sharing my heart with others. When we just let go of those things (self) and honor the One we are claiming to serve, He will do the rest and He will get the credit for the blessing! That's really what we want anyway, right?! It's so simple. Lord, help us to have the heart of a child. 

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Mama Time

Don't think by the title that this post is solely about us mamas. I believe everything we do affects our children so we all need to lead by example. As a mom, I try to encourage my boys to be creative and give themselves time to pursue their interests. Somewhere along the way though, I realize I've neglected my own hobbies (that just comes with the MOM title, right). So, I've decided to allocate time for myself to improve and enjoy my own interests!

I recently signed up for FREE online writing classes through our local library (love those guys!). And have committed myself to reading and writing a little everyday. I figure I can do this during my hubby's football games {insert eyeroll here} after the kids are in bed.

I also love to paint and draw and am hoping to incorporate more of that in our homeschooling since Xander loves it as well. Here's two of his faves from his KONOS obedience study last year...the topic was light...

Learning and hobbies should be a life long passion of ours! If I'm teaching my kids that, then I should lead by example and share the joy it brings me with them. I'm sure, if we are a little more diligent with our time, MOST of us could find a little to spare each week on our passions and talents. Doing so may bring a bit more joy to our lives, and possibly others too. God is creative and passionate and He has given us all gifts and talents for a reason! Let us glorify Him in everything we do, with all He's given us!

Praises

Oh, how great it is to know Him! What a blessing it is just to think of His love for us! How can I do anything, but praise His name. He is the Lover of my soul. The Calm in my storm. The Mercy in my corrupted heart. He is the Restorer of my hope.

I can do all things through Him, yet nothing without Him. How humbling it is to know that His face shines upon me, that I am called by the Most High. He has a will and a purpose for my life that would overshadow anything I could accomplish for myself. In Him, there is joy unspeakable. In Him, there is a fullness that once was empty. There beats a heart that once was silent.

Through all things His praises will be in my heart, for He put them there. He knew me from the foundations of the earth and He loved me when I was unlovable. He didn't ask me to conform to the LAW to win His love. Instead, He sought after me. He showered me with His love until I couldn't resist Him any longer. He filled me with His spirit and caused His desires to become my own. My hopes and my dreams are woven together with my faith and love for Him. My heart's sole desire is to be a good and faithful servant to the One who's faithfullness to me far out shines any faith I had in Him. How great is our God <3

Hearts of Praise

As I have mentioned before, we are currently in our second year homeschooling our 9yo son. Our first year was more successful than I could have anticipated. Not only did he grow mentally and physically, but spiritually as well. I praised God as He revealed a heart of service and praise in my little man. A desire to do what is good and right.

 He developed a love of hymns as we learned them in our daily God time. I was so blessed when he told me he believed God called him to sing. I laugh as I remember him being so sure of this that he walked up to our worship leader one Sunday and all but demanded to be allowed to share his calling with the church. When that day came, he was so excited. As a singer myself I was certain he would need my support as he faced the crowd so I walked on stage with him. Ha! was I ever wrong. I was amazed as he boldly picked up the microphone stepped to the podium and  lead our church in his favorite worship song. He never wavered. Even when snickers and laughter broke out because of his determination to sing even after they stopped. I will cherish that memory forever! Thank God for churches that allow and encourage children to praise Him!

I've noted before that my main focus on homeschooling is to teach my child to love Christ. To prepare him for whatever my Lord has for him. I remind myself daily that he's only mine for a little while. A precious gift from my Father in Heaven. I pray for wisdom to guide him everyday.

I was wanting to write about our homeschool day, but I guess this is just closer to my heart at the moment.

A Leader and a Servant

I love my boys. As I listened to them argue, and play, and argue some more, I was thinking about how different their personalities are. I believe God used that tonight to make a point...

Austin is my leader. He is SO confident and strong willed. We have a bit harder of a time with him because he doesn't ever just accept a thought or rule. He wants to know WHY. Though this can be annoying at times, I am thankful that he wants to view all the facts before he decides to believe or do something. He doesn't just take your word for it, in fact, it seems you are automatically wrong until you prove yourself right.

I love his passion. When he has an interest in a subject he will research and learn as much about it as he can. Even if he is mocked by his friends for his interests, he stays committed. He has told me on occasion that he gets made fun of sometimes at school for being a christian....*note- he is NOT a quiet christian. He takes it in stride and says while he doesn't like it, he believes they are not just mocking him, but God as well. He strives to lead by example, especially when it comes to his faith. Recently we had an incident where one of his teachers accused him of lying in class when he said his throat was sore. He came home steaming. After a loooong conversation he admitted that he was most upset because he tries so hard to be a good witness for his faith and he felt this undermined all his efforts.....is that a 'works' message there? hmm...

He is my little defender. He has made it a point at school to befriend those that don't 'fit in' and doesn't hesitate to come to their aid if one is being picked on. He stands up for the underdog and is committed to help them as much as he can.

Xander is my joyful servant. He loves everybody...really. He has the most sincere heart I have every seen. When you're happy, he's happy. When your sad or hurting, he's sad too. His favorite song is thief by Third Day. The first time he heard the song, however, we were in the car. I had to stop the car and console him. Recently at church he began to cry as the singers sang Amazing Grace. He has such a tender heart.

He desires to be good and strives to be helpful. He is obedient and seems to flourish in structured environments. He considers everyone his friend. He has so much love in that little heart of his. His prayers at night consists of him asking God to 'make the whole earth good' and pleading the blood of Jesus over 'all the people'. Though his understanding of God isn't as deep as Austin's was at his age, he believes. Oh, how he believes!

As a child with asthma he has been sick quite frequently in his short life. He has recently began asking God to heal him. He thanks God when he feels he has healed him, but never doubts when he doesn't see a change. He just asks again...and again. He has faith. True, pure faith.

OK, I may have gotten a bit carried away. The point is, the leader isn't really better than the servant, or vica versa. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have talents and gifts. It doesn't matter as much what your gift is, but rather how you use that gift to glorify God. What good would knowledge of His word do me if my heart was hard as stone. And how could I witness to others the greatness of His love if I had no knowledge of His word. He is what makes our gifts great! No matter what your call in life, use it to glorify and honor the One would put it there...